Well, it turns out going back to school after 14 years of being a stay-at-home mom is tougher than I expected. I am having some time management issues, and am slowly working through them. My whole schedule had to be thrown out the window and reworked, but after 14 years, I am finding it a little hard to adapt to the new one. There have been tears. And missed appointments. And even one, "why didn't the Goose come home on the bus?!" Oh, right, she told me about that French Club meeting last week and I need to go pick her up--right now. I am finding meal preparation a bit harder, too. Thursday is particularly difficult because I am not home for dinner and have to plan something and write it down for the girls to cook. They have been a huge success at it and are even enjoying it. It's a little nerve-wracking for me since they have to start dinner before Bubba gets home and no one is here to help them if they need it, but we've talked about safety and, so far, I haven't had them make anything in the oven that Bubba isn't home to pull out.
There have been many, many beneath-the-desk, hide-from-the-teacher texts back and forth with the girls. I need to know when they get off the bus and when they walk in the door. And I need to know that the doors are locked. And that the dog has been let outside. And that dinner prep is underway. And when Bubba gets home so I can stop worrying. Sweetest man on Earth, truly. The first two weeks he came home from work early, so that he would be here when the girls got home and I would not freak out. Like I did the first week when I was crying so hard I didn't know if I could drive to my class. Not home when the babies get home? Lots and lots and lots of guilt. (Did I mention that three mornings a week I have to leave before Tink does? GUILT!)
On top of all of us trying to get used to my new schedule, we have had a very trying month. Too many things to detail completely, but Bear got sick and we were sure we were going to have to put him down (he's fine now), we had a health worry with Tink (she's fine now, too), several minor issues that feel HUGE when you are already feeling overwhelmed, and worst of all, our beloved Smores died. She had been sick for a while, and finally passed away yesterday. We think she was egg bound. We did everything we possibly could for her and even gave her a round of antibiotics (I know, not organic, but her life was on the line). We kept her alive for as long as possible, without suffering, but she finally gave out. We will miss her so much.
As far as culinary school goes, my classes are so much fun. SO MUCH FUN! I absolutely adore the chefs I am working with and the classes fly by because they are so great. Getting through everything else is easier when I think about the end goal. I am going to be a chef! And...I am finding myself getting very interested in food science. Very interested! I could even see myself being a food scientist.
So, while September has been an extremely trying month for our family, we are looking forward to the coming holiday seasons. Halloween is my absolute, bar-none, favorite time of the year. Until it's over, and then Thanksgiving is my favorite...and then xmas. The baking!!!! I will try to post at least once a week, but bear with me. Time Management is not my friend...yet.
Wow! You sound really really busy! I am so happy for you going back to school, I can't imagine how difficult that must be after 14 years. 1 summer break for me and I start getting rusty. You sound like a fantastic mother, keep it up; I hope things get easier!
ReplyDeleteeverything new takes time to adjust to. It's funny how you can almost be more productive when you have a million things to do (just think back to senior year & Dr O's' class) but it's hard to sustain for months and months. (Hence my complete exhaustion after the past 3 years of my previous job.) Hang in there. Be patient with yourself. prioritize. Don't try to please everyone. Maybe a home-cooked meal just isn't in the cards every night. Maybe you have to let the housecleaning slide a bit. Vent a bit, it's okay. No one needs an exhausted supermom/woman (I'm still trying to be okay with all this myself....). Amy
ReplyDeleteYou're doing such a fantastic job and, as a 12 year stay-at-home mom, giving me hope that I can still be what I want to be when I grow up! You're a great role model for your daughters! The end goal will well out weigh the sacrifices made now
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